________

What makes me feel like I don't appreciate myself, my own life.

There's still this kind of feelings going through inside my head. I'm not sure what makes me the way I am right now. What's on my face is no longer real. What did I say is no longer true. What did I do is no longer right. I'm sorry to say this but I'm no longer the way I'm supposed to be. What's around me changes the way I do, the way I think, and the way I behave. 

Can't you even realise, this is all your fault. If you the one can who control your own lust I won't be existing. Stop complaining if you the one who made me here. You'd kill me earlier. I would never know that my existence has never been so full of hatred. Just please, I don't ask to be here. You should know that you couldn't even carry a fucking life through a happiness, instead you dragged him into the abyss. Either me, or you. I don't ask for it. 

I don't fucking ask for it